It's over between us.

We had a steamy love affair for over a decade. You were my best friend, confidante, the object of my affection and my dreams; and yet the most violently abusive influence in my life. You accepted me as I was, always made me feel understood and best of all...protected. I tried to walk away from you so many times, decidedly OVER what our relationship was costing me physically, emotionally and even spiritually. Every time I left, you drew me back in with promises of change that always came up empty.

One day, I realized that I was lost. I had exhausted all of the willpower I thought I possessed over this area. I simply could NOT get the relationship healthy on my own.

You see, the thing about food addiction is that you still have to use your drug of choice. Every. Single. Day. I don't have the luxury of walking away from food completely like with traditional recreational drugs that aren't essential for life.

One of the questions people ask me the most, regarding my decision to have Gastric Sleeve surgery, is as follows: "why couldn't you just do it on your own with diet and exercise?".

The fact of the matter is that we all need help sometimes. I, as well as every one of you, have been through a LOT in life that the enemy tried to crush me with. I learned at a young age that hiding is easier than confronting issues. I have literally built a wall around myself in the form of obesity, but my heart was always wanting to break free.

You might not be addicted to food, or even drugs. However, I would encourage you to take stock of your heart. If you are allowing any form of an abusive influence to remain a part of your life, you need to leave. This could pertain to substances, relationships, habits, or even fears we allow to hold us back. We need to realize that it's our responsibility to set up boundary lines and guard them. And if you need help, that's ok. I'm praying for us today. Praying that we will allow ourselves to dream of a life free from all the stuff that we allow to confine us, and that we would be brave enough to chase after that kind of life! Abundant life! <3

John 10:10- "The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy; but I have come that they may have life, and have it abundantly."