Thanks giving

We all love the holiday where friends and family gather around a ton of delicious food and give thanks for all the blessings we have been given.

But what about the rest of the year? For me personally, I know I don't "gather" with friends/family enough. And do we consistently "give thanks" for all of the blessings in our lives? We would never be able to stop!

God has been so good to us. If you woke up this morning, you're blessed. If you are breathing right now, you have something to be thankful for.

This thanksgiving will be very different for me. I usually look forward to stuffing myself with stuffing (see what I did there?) and piling on the pumpkin pie! This year, I am planning to eat healthy and do some thanks giving to God for all of the people that enrich my life and all of the Hope I have because of my relationship with Jesus.

The truth hurts

What you are looking at is 60 needles that were filled with a medication to prevent blood clots, called Lovenox. Every 12 hours since I got my Gastric Sleeve surgery, I have had to inject this into my stomach due to the fact that I am morbidly obese. It wasn't something I was prepared for before having surgery...and honestly it's a good thing they didn't tell me! Needles have always been my #1 BIGGEST fear! Ironically enough, public speaking of any kind was #2 and I conquered that this year too :)

You see, I was outraged about having to do this horrendous thing every 12 hours for a whole month!!!!!! I wish I could say I never complained, but that would be a lie. It took me several minutes each time just to get up the nerve to actually do it. And then came the burn... it was awful.

Somewhere along the line, I began to realize that no one was "making" me do this. I did this to myself! How fitting that I literally had to do the thing which I feared the most as a means to really drive the point home. I had blindly allowed myself to get to the point that my health was nowhere to be found on my list of priorities. I was burying myself in my own body.

I can be quite stubborn. Shocking, I know. I had become delusional enough to believe that I could continue on the way I was and that I could do everything a "normal" person could do.

I think I NEEDED these shots as a sort of "truth serum". I will never go back to where I was.

I am so grateful that God cares enough about us that He is willing to go to endless lengths to wake us up <3

My Father

My husband shared this verse at the end of his message today and I have heard it before, but today it especially stood out to me.

2 Corinthians 6:18 I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters says The Lord Almighty.

Out of the corner of my eye, a sweet family that comes to our church was in view. They are brand new, first time parents of a BEAUTIFUL 3 week old baby girl. It just so happened that Dad was holding her while Jimmy was sharing this verse. I found myself getting emotional just looking at them! That precious baby girl was just fast asleep, oblivious to the fact that what/who was holding her up and keeping her safe & warm was her daddy. Meanwhile, He couldn't keep his eyes off of her!

Regardless of your relationship with your earthly father, how accurate is that to our relationship with our Heavenly Father...?! He is ALL about us! He has the hairs on our heads NUMBERED (I have really thick hair and it sheds like crazy! That alone should be a full time job!) And yet, He is also involved in every single moment of our lives...even when we don't acknowledge that it's Him that is holding us, protecting us, guiding us, providing for us, and the list just goes on and on and on.

When we really take a moment and think of how profound this promise is, it is perspective altering stuff! I am amazed at the timing of The Holy Spirit in assuring me of this today. I am never alone. My Father never lets me out of His sight. He loves me unconditionally. And He feels the same about you! <3

Guilt-free Pumpkin Cheesecake fluff!

Jimmy and I host a small group for families on Monday nights. Part of what we do is we each contribute an item each week and we have dinner together! Well tonight, I was supposed to make a dessert. DESSERT!!! My health nemesis!

Rather than admit defeat and buy or make something really unhealthy for everyone else to eat, I put my thinking cap on! I just wanted to share what I came up with :)

Guilt-free Pumpkin Cheesecake Fluff!

I used:

-1 large tub of Lite Cool Whip
-1 medium sized can of pumpkin puree (not pumpkin pie mix...it has a ton of sugar & carbs)
-2 boxes of sugar free cheesecake pudding mix
-pumpkin pie spice to taste
-(optional) Isopure unflavored protein powder

I mixed all the ingredients in one bowl really well and put in the fridge to chill. That's it! Super fast, easy AND healthy! I also got reduced fat honey graham crackers for everyone else to use for dipping. These are obviously optional as well.

For the sake of the kids and adults eating this tonight I didn't want to take a risk of adding too much protein powder and ruining the taste...thankfully you can't taste it AT ALL! Here are the stats for a 2 ounce serving (approximately 2 tbsp). ENJOY!

It's over between us.

We had a steamy love affair for over a decade. You were my best friend, confidante, the object of my affection and my dreams; and yet the most violently abusive influence in my life. You accepted me as I was, always made me feel understood and best of all...protected. I tried to walk away from you so many times, decidedly OVER what our relationship was costing me physically, emotionally and even spiritually. Every time I left, you drew me back in with promises of change that always came up empty.

One day, I realized that I was lost. I had exhausted all of the willpower I thought I possessed over this area. I simply could NOT get the relationship healthy on my own.

You see, the thing about food addiction is that you still have to use your drug of choice. Every. Single. Day. I don't have the luxury of walking away from food completely like with traditional recreational drugs that aren't essential for life.

One of the questions people ask me the most, regarding my decision to have Gastric Sleeve surgery, is as follows: "why couldn't you just do it on your own with diet and exercise?".

The fact of the matter is that we all need help sometimes. I, as well as every one of you, have been through a LOT in life that the enemy tried to crush me with. I learned at a young age that hiding is easier than confronting issues. I have literally built a wall around myself in the form of obesity, but my heart was always wanting to break free.

You might not be addicted to food, or even drugs. However, I would encourage you to take stock of your heart. If you are allowing any form of an abusive influence to remain a part of your life, you need to leave. This could pertain to substances, relationships, habits, or even fears we allow to hold us back. We need to realize that it's our responsibility to set up boundary lines and guard them. And if you need help, that's ok. I'm praying for us today. Praying that we will allow ourselves to dream of a life free from all the stuff that we allow to confine us, and that we would be brave enough to chase after that kind of life! Abundant life! <3

John 10:10- "The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy; but I have come that they may have life, and have it abundantly."

intro

I am so excited to be typing this right now, but I also can't help but feel a little like a fish out of water.

I am many things...a woman, wife, follower of Jesus, a hairstylist/salon market trainer at ULTA Beauty (woop woop!), a dork and then some, but a blogger??! Really??!!! So I want to thank you for even taking the time to read whatever it is I will be writing about :)

This all came about a few months ago, when one of my precious clients and I were discussing my plans to have Gastric Sleeve surgery. She said to me, "You should blog about your journey! You have so much to say and I really think it would help you as well as others.". I immediately laughed and shrugged it off, but couldn't stop thinking about it after that.

This blog is going to be about a lot of different things. I believe in transparency, and sadly find it rare in the world we live in. But what I want you to know is, I'm not writing it just for you, but for me too.

This life is FULL of exhilarating twists and frightening turns, but God is always there saying Keep Going. I would be honored to echo that <3